why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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