You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
