the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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