I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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