i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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