Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
