You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
