I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
