Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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