dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
