Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
