Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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