I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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