Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
