Whoa Z and x make the same sound
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
They left me at home... I'm a liability
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
