I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Randomize
