I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
it's like heaven, but drunker
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
