Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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