I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
