I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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