need another drink. this is the easiest way
Farmville is her only friend.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
