At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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