Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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