i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
