its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
