Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
