Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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