11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
