are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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