my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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