we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize