What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Operation Purity has been aborted
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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