never play flip cup with pint glasses
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize