the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
