im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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