I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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