this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
