I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
