please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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