Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Farmville is her only friend.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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