I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
