We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
