Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
