woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
