Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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