You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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