The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Text me some of your sweat
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
