Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
