yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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