I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
