You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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