She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
