who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so explain again why im purple
no
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
