Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
