I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
