I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
