I hate your face
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
