i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
