Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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