Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
