Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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