He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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