Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
